I should be better

I had just written a very long post which contained some emotional things I've been going through lately. I decided to erase it because if my younger sister read it she would kill me!
This week I learned that the decisions we make affect those we love no matter what! I am not a merciful person.
I wish I wasn't such an emotionally attached person. I wish I never studied about women being emotionally abused and all the signs that point to abuse. I wish I didn't know that the chances of an LDS woman getting into an abusive relationship are just as high as the national average. I wish my sisters boyfriend never made the mistake of repeatedly making rude or abusive comments in front of me and my family. I wish I didn't love my sister so much...but I do! I wish I didn't have to keep my mouth shut and let her learn things on her own...but I do...or so I'm told. I wish I was a more merciful person. I wish I could see everyone through God's eyes.

Our great personal challenge in mortality is to become “a saint through the atonement of Christ.”

Cutest Mommy and Daddy EVER!!!!

Don't I have the cutest parents ever!!!! I'm so excited for this weekend because my mommy and daddy are coming to visit! I love having slumber parties with my mom and watching old movies with her in my bed. She is also one of the few people who will just start randomly dancing with me when a great song comes on. I'm excited for daddy to come as well because he is bringing his guns and we get to go shooting! My parents some how made sure that their children were well rounded...meaning: not only did my mom and dad raise girly girls (we've been involved in dancing, baton, and theatre for forever PLUS we love shoes, make-up, clothes, and nail polish) they also raised girls who love camping (I'm the only one of my siblings who HATES going to the bathroom in the woods!I'm good with sleeping in a tent on the ground in the dirt...it's just the no bathroom thing that gets me every time!)sports, and I must say that I am a great burper thanks to my mom. So I was able to use everyone's advice and finally get into the creative mood. I started laughing when I went to Schmath's web-site that she suggested and it said P.A.C.E for anxiety attacks...PACE stands for Positive, Active, Clear & Energetic...It reminded me of yoga:)Listening to calm music and working out has helped clear my head. One of the teachers I work with totally got me into Adele....her music rocks my world!!!! Charlotte Martin also helps me calm down and find my center:)

Yesterday....

Yesterday was emotionally wacko for me. It started off going pretty well. My hair has a mind of its own (to the point where it really needs its own name) and was actually looking cute. I got up on time and didn't have to rush to get to work. I was confident in the steps I had put to music the night before (in the kitchen)...which means I was totally prepared to teach dance that night.
I don't know why I let one moment ruin my day...it's really stupid when I think about it. I was trying to teach the advanced girls the rest of their dance and NOTHING was working. The steps that were-oh so perfect-in the kitchen did not translate well onto the dance floor. I HATE WHEN THAT HAPPENS! I get sick to my stomach and feel like I'm wasting time. Now I’m back to the drawing board… which is where all of you come in…I can’t think of one single step that I like or that even fits to finish this dance. I have choreographers block. (is that even a real thing?) So my big question to all you creative gals….which to me is all of you (sewing/knitting/painting/anything artsy fartsy=creative and let’s be honest… writing a 40 page paper = creative as well!) what do you do to get in your creative mode? I am willing to try anything!!! (well minus drugs…unless you have some 100% guarantee that I will be able to choreograph the most awesome tap dance in the history of tapping after I take it/them…I may or may not be kidding)
Maybe I just need to step away from it and start on another dance. The stupid thing is that my OCD pretty much prevents me from not finishing things. For example: remember the twilight books? Ya, I read all of them…why? Because I read the first one and I am just one of those people that MUST finish a series! SO LET THE ADVICE BEGIN!!!
On a happier note…I was so frustrated with tap yesterday that I decided to walk in on a modern class and release some frustration. It was exactly what I needed! I looked like a complete dork but it was nice to be able to participate in a different style of movement than what I’m use to! I was so calm after modern that BYU losing didn’t even faze me…weird...I know!

Whats been goin' on

{one} dance inspires me...I don't know what it is about modern but I love love love it!
{two} I was able to feel really really happy this weekend...normally I'm just happy
{three} Kasia saying flag makes me giggle evey time
{four} got a job working at the adoption center (starting monday!!!)
{five) blessings everywhere!
{six} thriller+tap=me going crazy
{seven} I have a sick obsession with BYU basketball
{eight}loved bonding with the other dance teachers

Excerpt from Single Dad Laughing

****Hell is so personal and so different for every person who experiences it. Some will have to climb impossible mountains while walking their roads. Some will have to wade through shark-infested waters. Others will have to swim through seas of lava. A few will get to the end much sooner than anticipated, and with little trouble at all.

One morning, four good people are unexpectedly terminated from their jobs. All four have the jaws of hell opened up before them. All four look at the thousand roads they will choose from, and they each choose one.

One good person walks to the end. He steps over the border of hell and into a new job doing something he’s always been passionate about. Another good person walks to the end. She steps over the border of hell and into the schooling that she’s always found a reason to put off. This, in turn, leads to a life and a career that makes her truly happy. Another good person walks to the end. She steps over the border of hell and into the arms of a good man at a new workplace. The last good person walks a short ways, and then turns around and heads back. He’s still there. He’s still going through it. He’s still trying to decide on the right road.

Three spend the rest of their lives being thankful for the hell they just walked through. One spends the rest of his life desperate to escape.

We can’t choose our hells or when we’ll have to start walking through them. We can’t choose what will be on the road in front of us. We can’t even choose what will be at the end.

What we can choose is to keep walking. We can choose to look at the flames in front of us and maneuver our way through them. We can move forward with blind faith that there is always something good at the end of our road.

And faith it will take. I promise you that. ****

I just found out that my coworkers and I will be unemployed in a few weeks. The company has been sold and pretty much it's a big dirty mess with corrupt people...
My first reaction was shock followed by getting really pissed which was followed by pure denial. Right now I'm at the denial/pissed phase. I really don't understand people.
Sorry this update is sad! I hope that all of you are wonderful and happy!

Christmas was wonderful! Below are some pictures of a roommate reunion. Love those girls!





It has been soooooooooooo cold lately! I really hate the cold. The snow is pretty to look at but I am not one of those people who gets all excited when it snows. When is snows the first thought that crosses my mind is, "freakin' crap! I have to drive and walk in that!" Snow means ice. Ice means falling on my butt (which already hurts from spin class) Sorry all you snow lovers out there....but I'm not a big fan!
A lot of my time has been devoted to my new favorite book Decision Points. It is soooooooooooo good!!!!!!!!!!! Daddy Stodd if Skye hasn't already told you, you must read this book!

One of my favorite things to do (while not reading) is watch these guys play some balll! GO COUGARS!!!

My knitting is going well. I need to post a picture of how cute the scarf is turning out! Well that's all for now.

knitting!!!:)

ok...I've decided that I need to fill the void in my life with knitting! I really want to make these cute gloves and that way cute scarf!!! However, I understand that I am a beginner and with Schamth's help eventually I will attain awesome ruffly scarf making skills.

can I make these too for someones litte baby?:)!!!!